Who am I?

Hey guys! Long time no…read? Yeah we’ll go with that! I've been busy with the last stretch of my first year of college! Today is the last day of finals! This year has been one of the most awful, annoying, amazing, and growing times in my life. I’m so done with this semester, but I’m sad to see it end! Anyway blog time!

I hate being vulnerable but I will be honest with you guys… I have struggled (I didn't notice until this year) with my identity. You see I was always an outcast, and as a kid, it was hard. I wanted to be popular, part of the “in crowd” not knowing who I was I wanted to be a part of something so I could identify with…something…anything!

Well I never was popular. Looking back, that was a good thing. Instead, I through myself into sports… until I didn't like the coach… Then, it was grades…until I barely passed a class my sophomore year in high school… After that… and it continues. What sucks is sometimes you don’t even realize it until something changes or happens. What made me notice was when James, the pastor at the church I go to Sunday nights, had us write a moment when we totally just… God was there and we know… So I’m writing and it’s like yeah this happened and blah blah blah… and then it turns into a prayer, and I’m writing this prayer out and it’s kind of like what in the world where did that come from? Because it’s talking about how my identity is placed in other things besides God.

I am slowly (very slowly) getting back to where I need to be. Sometimes all I can do is remind myself “I am God’s kid!” But that’s enough. I really do want to get back to that awed 19 year old who can go outside look up at what her father has made and say with a cheesy grin and a gasp “STARS!” I want to get back to that girl who completely and utterly loves on people and will explode if I don’t because God is filling me with his “love juice.” I want to be so caught up in his presence that I am overwhelmed with joy. I want that! And I want that for you guys too!

So how do we get back? We need to continue to remind ourselves whose we are. We are children of a King! But, we are also to be humble. Get lost in God! We cannot find who we are until we do! Because we are God’s we have to get lost in who he is before we can understand the magnitude of his love for us. That love will in turn shape us into who we are to be! So that would be my challenge for us!

God bless!

He has made you beautiful!

Restored, Rescued, and Redeemed

I've been in a slump. I hate to say that because I want to be okay! I really do! I'm realizing I've just been in the wrong mindset. I have been focusing on how big the problems seem instead how big my God is. My God is so big even the problem that seems so big it could crush me, he can crush it between his fingers...

In talking some things out with a friend, I was challenged (not sure what to call it...) or told how I can get back on my feet... I feel the need to share it with you.

1. Remember who has you and the situations.  God's got me! He's got the situations I'm dealing with he holds it all in his hands! Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will have it's own troubles... God's got you there is no need to worry just trust and rest in him.

2. Remember who you are. You are a child of God. Loved. There is no one out there who can love like you can... you are His feet and voice. You are His messenger. You are  His light! You shine the light of Christ! You are possibly the only light people will ever see (so shine bright!) You are you... and there is only one you in the world!

3. Get up off the ground! Stop taking the blows while you're on the ground with a shield covering your body.  Get up and fight for God is with you! He will never leave you! When things come and try to knock you down... stand firm for you are God's!

So I took my friend's words to heart, and I get back to my room, and I get my Bible and my notebook, and I go to the landing between the 2nd and 3rd floor of my building. I start out just writing something down, then I open my Bible and read three chapters from Micah. There were two parts that stuck out to me.

"As for you, watchtower of the flock, stronghold of Daughter Zion, the former dominion will be restored to you; kingship will come to Daughter Jerusalem.” Why do you now cry aloud—
    have you no king? Has your ruler perished, that pain seizes you like that of a woman in labor?"

Micah 4:8-9

 This one stuck out to me because (to me at least) it means that the happiness and the joy I had before will be restored. I looked up what restored meant. I found out that it means "to bring back" Another thing that stuck out to me, is that I am "crying" (sometimes literally) for no reason. What I mean is this: I have a hope in God. He is my Savior. Nothing is too big for him! I have no reason to fear the war or the storm because my help is on the way! My God is on the way and his promise is true! He loves me so much!

"for now you must leave the city to camp in the open field. You will go to Babylon; there you will be rescued. There the Lord will redeem you out of the hand of your enemies."

Micah 4:10(b)

This one stuck out to me because, yes we will go through bad situations, but we have hope that things will get better. We have a God who wants to rescue us, and He will!  Rescue means save someone from harm or danger. God rescues us! Redeem means to buy back! The LORD will buy/ has already bought you back from the enemy!  

We are Restored! We are brought back to who we are supposed to be as well as to whose we are supposed to be!

We are Rescued! We are/were saved from harm and danger by God! 

We are Redeemed! We were bought back! We cost something.. God paid for our freedom from sin. God sent his son to die in our place to free us from the bondage of sin. We are free! We are Redeemed!

I know I still have to climb before I completely see the light, but I'm getting there! Seeking God, when my life feels like a snow globe that has been shaken up, brings me so much peace! 

So now for your favorite part... Challenges! Seek God and know that he holds you as well as your situations in his hands! Remember who and whose you are! Finally, Stand up and fight, knowing that God is on your side! 

God bless!

He has made you beautiful!