Who am I?

Hey guys! Long time no…read? Yeah we’ll go with that! I've been busy with the last stretch of my first year of college! Today is the last day of finals! This year has been one of the most awful, annoying, amazing, and growing times in my life. I’m so done with this semester, but I’m sad to see it end! Anyway blog time!

I hate being vulnerable but I will be honest with you guys… I have struggled (I didn't notice until this year) with my identity. You see I was always an outcast, and as a kid, it was hard. I wanted to be popular, part of the “in crowd” not knowing who I was I wanted to be a part of something so I could identify with…something…anything!

Well I never was popular. Looking back, that was a good thing. Instead, I through myself into sports… until I didn't like the coach… Then, it was grades…until I barely passed a class my sophomore year in high school… After that… and it continues. What sucks is sometimes you don’t even realize it until something changes or happens. What made me notice was when James, the pastor at the church I go to Sunday nights, had us write a moment when we totally just… God was there and we know… So I’m writing and it’s like yeah this happened and blah blah blah… and then it turns into a prayer, and I’m writing this prayer out and it’s kind of like what in the world where did that come from? Because it’s talking about how my identity is placed in other things besides God.

I am slowly (very slowly) getting back to where I need to be. Sometimes all I can do is remind myself “I am God’s kid!” But that’s enough. I really do want to get back to that awed 19 year old who can go outside look up at what her father has made and say with a cheesy grin and a gasp “STARS!” I want to get back to that girl who completely and utterly loves on people and will explode if I don’t because God is filling me with his “love juice.” I want to be so caught up in his presence that I am overwhelmed with joy. I want that! And I want that for you guys too!

So how do we get back? We need to continue to remind ourselves whose we are. We are children of a King! But, we are also to be humble. Get lost in God! We cannot find who we are until we do! Because we are God’s we have to get lost in who he is before we can understand the magnitude of his love for us. That love will in turn shape us into who we are to be! So that would be my challenge for us!

God bless!

He has made you beautiful!