Dear fall out buddy,
Where do I even begin? Last year was rough...for both of us! I may not know what happened, but I still cared... At least for awhile. Then we drifted apart. You became more of a stranger then I ever thought possible. When I finally started getting my head back on straight, I realized how much I missed the friendship I thought we had. But as the weeks and months went on, I began to see you in a different light... You didn't care at all. So, I'm sorry! Sorry for being me: insecure, overly caring, too kind, and at times needy! I'm sorry that once I saw your true colors I was willing to let our friendship fade because I'd hoped you'd get the message...you never did! I'm sorry I let you slink back into my life because I wanted to believe that you had changed, but you hadn't! I'm sorry i didn't have the heart to tell you how I really felt... And I'm sorry you have to read this....you seem different, like something significant happens and it changed you, curling you further up in that small shell of privacy and comfort you have...I'm sorry that I lack the trust needed to make this friendship work. I'm sorry that I have become numb from the hurt it took to care about you as you faded out of my life. I'm sorry that I have nothing left to give... I'm sorry that I'm done caring about you because my body and my mind can no longer handle the pain. I remember freshmen year and how naive I actually was. I thought that if I just acted a certain way that you would welcome me as a friend and so i stretched, bent, molded, and shaped myself into the person I thought you would like... And you kept me around, so I thought it worked... But 2 years later I finally realized the real reason you let me stick around... You saw the light in my eyes every time that you paid attention to me. You knew that I had never had attention paid me that way... You knew all the right things to make me smitten... And you did! You had everyone fooled... I guess my question is was it all an act? See you know how to read people just enough to give you the advantage.... You use them by pressing the right buttons not caring if you leave hearts strewn in a path behind you. And mine was one of them... I know that you probably won't be happy when you read this... But you see talking hasn't helped and I'm tired of this mask I've been wearing and these shells I have to constantly walk on around you... I'm sorry you have to hear it this way... The ball is in your court...
Sincerely,
The lonely and the used
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