Beauty From Ashes

Oh gosh this week…. I’m going to be honest. I’ve been on the “struggle bus” this week. Today was really bad though. Kind of like the “struggle bus” got hit….by a semi. So yeah…not the best week of my life. Last week was spring break and it was really restful… I did absolutely nothing… Then I come back to school. (Enter DUN DUN DUN music) I have so much going on right now; stuff just keeps being piled on… Since coming back from break I have found out that I am currently failing 2 classes, I am really stressed from that, I am just stressed in general, and then there is the fact that I still have a concussion…

Coming back and finding out that I am failing two of my classes is kind of awful! I am stressed because I have so much that I need to do and only about 5 weeks left to do it. I am stressed also because it’s college. I’m stressed because I still have my concussion after 3 weeks and might have to get a CT Scan or an MRI, and my family and I don’t have insurance and my parents are not employed… I could go on. I have a lot that I’m dealing with right now… But I won’t!

Instead I want to challenge you! When the waves hit and knock you down… When you feel worn… When you are in a dry desert time in your life: rest in God! Find a place where you can connect with him… 

Purposefully connect WITH him…  I am in a time when I have nothing left to give… I am falling on God knowing/ believing fully that he was, is, and will always be with me. I have found a place where I can connect with him and even if it is only for a short time I can connect with God and feel a sense of peace wash over me! That connection for me is the Prayer Loft (I’ve been here for about oh 2hrs now!)

One of my friends, challenged my main group of friends (the ones that were at lunch at least) to go to the upper level of our chapel, which is called the Prayer Loft, and read the white boards that are there. The white boards have the students’ hearts and prayers on them. When I read the different prayers, they just washed over me. I was so impacted (I hadn’t even finished reading all the prayers on the first board) that I took off my shoes! (My way of saying the Prayer Loft is Holy Ground and inviting the Holy Spirit to dwell here with me)! There was one prayer that really stood out to me so much so I was crying (been doing that a lot lately) before I even finished reading it! So I’ll share it with you guys:

God…

I want to know why there is so much silence.

We fill whiteboards with pains we have, requests we carry, and words pleading for forgiveness of our sin.

We have turned empty journals in the prayer chapel to novels of our walk with you.

Why then do we stay so silent about your victories in our Every Day life? Why do we fail to speak our failures when our success is found in our conquering together?

We hurt and don’t cry, find joy but don’t sing.

Why do we stay silent when our strength is in the One we proclaim?

Is our comfort worth the risk of not speaking?

Who am I without you or your proclamation of who I AM?

So why is there silence when our hearts couldn’t cry out any louder?

From, one of your shepherdboys 

Wow! That prayer! Seriously I needed that so much! So, shepherdboy if you read my blog… sweetness thanks for your willing heart… if not thanks anyway! I ended up writing a prayer on the board too! I didn’t ask for anything more than to be used in my state of brokenness. Because sometime the most beautiful thing is being used/transformed when you are broken and have nothing left to give! It may not be easy but it’s needed! The thing is you still have something to give! I still have something to give! I will gladly give what I have because even in this season of my life God is still God!!!!!  

I want to also challenge you to let God use you when you feel like you have nothing left to give, because trust me that is when (I think) he uses you most but it’s also when you need him the most! So seek him! When you get to a point where you are so low know that you are not alone… in fact you never are God is always present!!!!!! 

Another reason I haven’t completely fallen apart is because of my friends! I have surrounded myself with Godly friends! When one of us is going through something… one of the first things we do if not THE first thing is pray… We bring the person and the problem before God! My friends are awesome! Shout out to you guys and your awesomeness you know who you are!!!!! Oh and I love you guys!!!! God is the one that orchestrated our friendship and can I just say these people are awesome and I know that when I tell them: Hey pray for me, they do! They also genuinely care about and for me, and because of that they will ask the tough questions (which I don’t always like but I need)… So another challenge for you: find friends that you can be honest with and that would pray both for and with you! For those friends and acquaintances you have that aren't there yet, love on them!!!  You never know how much even a little love can spread the love of Christ!

Can I just say: God is funny! I few days ago I was thinking about what I would write for this post… and I was going to talk about strength through weakness… I even wrote that title at lunch today! I had a word document that I was going to write my blog post in!  The only thing that I had written down was this verse:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for The Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9

The thing is what stuck out to me before (when I was going to write about strength) didn't stick out to me at all when I read the verse today! What stuck out to me was that part where is says: “do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Also, I don’t remember where I even got the verse from… I saw it somewhere but I can’t remember but all I know is I needed it!

So this week and in the weeks, months, and years to come I challenge you to 1. Seek God with all that you have! 2. Connect WITH him (which is different than talking AT him) 3. Find that place of Holy Ground for you! 4. Never be afraid to tell people when you aren’t okay! 5. Continue to let God use you!  And finally surround yourself with friends who will be there and help you grow but also be that friend to others!

Beauty rises from ashes!

God bless!

He has made you beautiful!