Desert Times

Over the past few weeks, I have been physically and spiritually worn. I was sick for about a week. Then, I was attacked spiritually because I acted on the call I know God has on my life (changing at that time 1 of my 2 majors to Youth Ministry.... now I'm officially changing it here soon to a major in Youth Ministry and a minor in Fine Arts! I'm so excited!!!!) After dealing with that spiritual attack and being worn from that, I ended up getting a concussion! I seriously thought I couldn't get a break....like come on I just got over this and that....GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!

I got the concussion on a Saturday... still had it 2-3 days later ended up going to the ER (which says a lot because I don't like doctors), got meds, and went back to my dorm. I didn't end up going to many classes that week.  I mostly slept and tried to "get over" the concussion. That week was one of the most stressful weeks ever! It really sucked!

This past week was spring break and after the probably month or more of being worn, I needed it so much. I still had the concussion stuff so I mostly stayed home and rested. I got to the point where I was so worn and in a clouded state of mind... God using me was the last thing on my mind. The thing is... looking back at all of the different attacks I experienced: getting sick, spiritual attack, and getting a concussion, I have learned a few things... okay three... The first one: God used me (and will continue to do so)! It may have just been being somewhere at the right time, so a friend could vent. It may have been just hugging a friend and telling her that the extent that my love for her (as a friend) barely scratches the surface of God's love for her. It could have even been just talking with one of my friends on the phone and listening to what she had going on.

At the end of spring break, I was ready to come back. So I get back to campus and all moved in by about 5:30. Around 6pm I go meet up with some friends to go to a church service. When I see my friends, I get really excited! We go to the service tonight and for about 2 maybe 3 songs I'm good! I'm happy and I can feel the presence of God in the service! I have so much peace and clarity about my major... It's awesome! Then all of a sudden BAM! My head starts hurting, and I feel like I'm going to throw up! I go outside for some air and try to feel better! I end up getting cold and going back inside... As soon as I get back inside this wave of feeling bad returns. I go sit down and after a little bit I end up praying for one of my friends partially to keep my mind off of my feeling bad, and because I honestly care about her so much, and she had been through some rough stuff this week! Sometime later I ended up feeling really bad, and concentrating on the message was really hard. I ended up tuning into about half of it and resting (sorta) for the rest of it...

After the service ended, I ended up back outside... I've realized that when I connect to God the most... I'm outside so because of that and because of me feeling sick again I went outside.. One of my friends came out to look for me, and she ended up taking me back inside... then when we go to leave, I run and hide/ask another friend to help me... needless to say three people tried to carry me, and I ended up on the cold ground crying.... (fun... not!)  My friends ended up gathering around me, and they they prayed for me!  (love you guys!!!!!!)

After that I ended up getting a ride from  friend. We dropped off another friend and just drove! We stopped at this one place... which turned out to be a good thinking spot... I just told my friend how I was, and he willingly listened... there was no real let-me-analysize-the-situation-and-I'll-tell-you-what-you-need-to-do-to-fix-it... My friend listened to what I had to say then asked what can I do to help!  We ended up praying and driving some more (it calms me down... a lot!) I get back to my dorm, and I get settled, and I realize how much I needed tonight... The second thing I learned was that God uses the people around you to bless/stretch/ and strengthen you! I saw and lived that tonight!

The third thing I learned is that we will end up in a dessert time (A time of being worn out) at some point in out lives. We have two choices when that happens... we can either dwell in that fact that we are worn thus focusing on ourselves (I'm so worn out....)  or we can have God use us in our weakness... ( I believe he will!!!) And with God using our weakness, our whole attitude changes.... We can say with confidence, "God is my victory and he is here!" Because in this time when we are worn out and cannot stand, we can fall on God knowing that he is there!

So my challenge for you is that when you are worn  allow God to work in and through you... I don't always do so but I need and want to! After all, he makes beautiful things!

God bless!
He has made you beautiful!